Faith

“I had to suspend knowledge, in order to make room for faith.” -Immanuel Kant, Critique of Practical Reason


What we "know" via our experiences sometimes (much of the time) gets in the way of possibilities, possibilities of greatness. I argued with a very old friend (I mean seriously argued, as seriously as one can be on facebook) regarding the meaning of Carpe Diem. The individual went on and on about it having something to do with seizing the business of the day. And, I was more concerned about the verb in the sentence. It was a good twenty minutes on validating the doing of nothing. Ugh. 

SEIZE:seize/sēz/
Verb:
Take hold of suddenly and forcibly: "she jumped up and seized his arm".
Capture (a place) using force.

So another words...whatever we are seizing it needs to be forceful, actionable, the doing of something. I think that's what faith is. It's the doing, despite the opportunity to ponder indefinitely. It's the jumping off a cliff. It's writing a blog, having no idea what the reader might think. It's saying I love you to someone, not knowing if they love you. It's appreciating the transitory nature of life and time. Having faith is knowing that no matter how bad it gets today, tomorrow is new. Some tomorrows will be far worse and others will be unimaginably better. 

I guess the issue is the intellectualizing of things sometimes prevents us from acting. And, the acting...that's faith. I think that faith and reason are "married". They are in fact, partners making choices together. And, just like everything else in life...the truth lies somewhere in the middle, there is always room for doubt, temperance, creativity, sighing, being comforted, and even jumping into the unknown. 

I think that the unknown can be greater than what we know. No one likes change. It's crazy uncomfortable, it's different. Even when the change is grand and life-changing, it's different. Even when we have lived a lifetime of nonsense, destruction, abuse, violence...the possibility of greatness can seem daunting and harsh. 

I guess it's just where I am at. I've struggled with happiness. I've wrestled with understanding what "enough" is. For now, I am going to have faith in the process. Warmth, love, assurance, grace, swimming (not merely the kind of not drowning), surprises...are all possible. 

We all will continue to stumble. But, the stumbles will be less frequent. The injuries will be less catastrophic. The scars will fade. We will heal. And, faith is the process that will relieve the pains of our past and will allow us to love and be loved again.

I think my daughter is one of the best examples I have come across regarding faith. She dances every day. She stretches, she practices, she moves and grooves all the time. She has danced in some way or another since she was two. She has two parts in the Nutcracker. They are not insignificant, each part has value. But, she is understudy for 5 or 6 others (I'm bad because after five, I quit counting). After days of driving back and forth to the studio, I asked why she was doing all the extra parts, what was the incentive for her when she would most likely not see the stage in these characters? She said, "But, I will. Maybe not this year, or next. This is what I am meant to do. This is who I am meant to be. The stage is bigger than this."

And, it is bigger than this for all of us. Have faith. Thanks for having faith in me, and helping me to find it within. 


à bientôt


On another note, the project of writing this blog is done, finished, over. Though, I am uncertain if I am. I know that I am very unfinished in the deeper sense. I don't know if I will miss writing this. But, if I do...I will continue to write what is top of mind on any given day. Promises though...it might be a little more superficial on the occasion. It might be about shoes or cupcakes, the rain or a cool breeze. No expectations though. Then, neither one of us will be disappointed. Agreed?