A few weeks ago, our church had Youth Sunday. It's obvious to those of you that attend church what this usually entails. First, attendance is always rather low...I could suppose a great many reasons for this...But, it truly is not the point. Second, the youth of said church perform most, if not all aspects of worship. They pray, they greet, they read scripture, preach, and give the benediction. And, without simply giving you a play by play of our particular service...the text for the day was 1 Timothy 4:12. Feel free to look it up, however the actual content is not what is paramount in this particular conversation.
I want to clarify, that this was a very busy weekend for our family. And, I had struggled as a minister of youth and a mother as to how I could be present to both the kids/church I served, and to myself/family. My son graduated on Saturday. This was huge as he has hated school since the first grade and struggled with both learning difficulties and is on the Autism Spectrum. We had family in town, a party to plan, gifts to buy etc. Additionally, B had gotten accepted into the Culinary program at a prestigious school in NY and had nine days between graduation and class start.
So, the anticipation of a late Saturday night coupled with three services on Sunday morning...was daunting at the least. But, these kids provided the most honest and genuine authentic worship that I had experienced in a very long time. We have such a diverse group. We have the popular kids,marginalized kids, kids of different races, genders, different socioeconomic groups, different age groups, and a completely diverse group of life experiences. We had three different sermons on the same text. All responded to a question "Why us?". Some were light and conversational. Some were read via typed manuscripts, some were very extemporaneous. All the messages were raw and the light of these kids shone unlike we had experienced in that space. These kids intimately know God and can lead a church.
The message of God's love wasn't just heard in the sermons. The message was visible with my favorite kiddo sitting in the front row. The kid who HATES God, church, and authority. He was there, present, glowing...just as I can only imagine the glow of God to be. The quiet, funny, middle schooler...she provided an offertory that not only showed her grace and love, but God's.
How could I possibly have thought that I didn't have time for this? How could I have given a moment of consideration to missing this wonderful Sunday? RLH, my mentor, minister, supervisor and many other things...made it so clear to me that I could not short-cut this Sunday. And, he was right. They were ready, these kids would not disappoint...they would again rise to the occasion. So, we had three beautiful services. And, then proceeded to my son's graduation party. I didn't think I'd have enough energy, love, support to get through the day...and I WAS SO WRONG...I had more than enough of all those things. In fact, I think I was being ministered to that day.
There's this text in Job that has been burning in my head for the last month...I think it's because there are more questions than answers. I think that being type A, a mother, a professional...I have to have a plan. I have this desire to "know" how things are going to pan out, to plan, foresee...and perhaps, that isn't possible. Perhaps God has a plan for us that is only possible if we step out of the way.
Job 38:4 - 38:7
4 Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.5 Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?
6 Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;
7 When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
Do you ever put yourself in the scripture? Like in Jesus's place when he is trying to convince the disciples of something??? What about God...is it that far removed from trying to reason with a toddler, teenager, aging parent?
I grapple with things for weeks. I over-plan, planning consumes me. I don't know why. Intellectually, I am fully aware that all the planning in the world doesn't make the outcome any more or less so. In fact, I think sometimes our over analyzing leads us down our path and not God's.
Once we acknowledge that we don't have a clue and leave the space for God to work...God does in fact work. We can try to get in the way, God's way. We can say, we don't have time, we are tired, it's too hard, we don't have the money, we are the wrong color, gender...and on and on...But, eventually...the whisper of God becomes a tap on the shoulder, a conversation, a shout...that our voice, our passions, our face of God has a path that is valuable and all we can do is get in the way for the moment. When we feel an urge and brush it aside, we are just postponing the coming into our true selves and our the version we are meant to be.
I am so grateful for a God that has patiently nudged me on this new path for the better part of 20 years. I did the math last week and I've worked in the food industry off and on for more than 23 years. And, I'm not that old...my food story started as a malnourished girl.
Who am I to get in the way of myself and the work that I am called to do? Moreover, who are we to get in the way of God's work in others? Who are we to tell our sons and daughters that they can't be who they were meant to be because of sexual orientation, disability, skin color...???
The story of the resurrection is one of disagreement between many theologians. My baptist grandmother and the fundamental church up the street here in NC believes that Jesus literally died and came back to life. I have a friend that goes to the Unity Temple in KC and he believes the story at best is a loose interpretation of our daily life.
I'm not entirely certain of where I stand on resurrection. Perhaps it literally happened, perhaps not. I'm just not sure that it matters so much to me anymore. Because the story of resurrection can be seen everywhere we look. Here are examples that I have seen through the last year...some are moments from my own life, some are moments in ministry, and many are moments of friends, family, and acquaintances.
- A homeless veteran that was so deeply ashamed of his feet. He allowed one of our youth to perform a foot-washing for him and give him a sack lunch. (Tears flowed all around...it was that beautiful)
- A mother who spent a year in therapy (court mandated due to a domestic violence order), who is now pursuing a new life, education, and professional endeavors.
- A son who is making an effort to have a relationship with his father after years of distance.
- An addict who is recovering and has been sober for 6 months.
- A mother who recognizes that her elementary son struggles everyday with Autism and continues to support him in those struggles. She advocates for him with teachers, legislatures, administrators, and physicians.
- A family who left most that they loved behind. And, has just begun to experience a new life, in a new place, with new people, and a new home.
Who are we to say that resurrection doesn't exist??? We just need to open our eyes...
