Faith

I listened to a Youtube video today. I will also clarify that perhaps, Nadia Bolz-Weber should get some sort of "cyber restraining order" from me. I read "Pastrix" her book about her own journey of faith. I've listened to her on NPR's "On Being", I've listened to interviews, sermons, and re-read the book. Every time I hear her, I hear God. I hear the God that reinforces my path and the place that all "damaged" people come from and our ability to do (collectively of course) great things from that space.

So, I listened to another YouTube video today. Rev. Bolz-Weber spoke about the faith in a way that I am still reeling from. She speaks about individual versus communities of faith. That God doesn't give us more than we can handle is an "us" statement, not a "you/individual" statement. She also regards the same to be true of the Apostles' Creed. Saying, "oh my god, nobody believes every line of the creed." But, that each of us believes a line, a part, a word, or a spirit of it. And, together we ALL end up believing all of the creed.

Amen. I use that word a lot lately. I can't begin to convey what that one word means. It's like a sigh of recognition, looking into my own heart, God, creation, love, truth, and definitive emotion all at once. And, since I believe in getting to the point...you will see many "amens" on Facebook posts, emails, and even texts. It conveys far more than one simple word.

But, faith as defined by community is huge. It's when we don't think we can do something we've never tried before. And, the moral support of a friend or partner gives us the strength to pull a battery out and in fact fix a vehicle sans tow truck. It's when we are working 2 or 3 jobs and we don't have time to sleep in and someone offers to take the kids to school for us. It's that faith is this transient thing. It's this "invisible backpack" that I can pick up for you when it gets too heavy. And, you are able to lighten the load when I am weary. It's this relational trust because we know God is fond of us. And, we know that we are fond of each other even though we get on the "crazy train" every once in a while. But, faith is knowing that we can go there (not in an attempt to screw things up or be ugly) and we are loved anyway (but, because we can't help but...).

Faith is knowing that we are loved and that God thinks fondly of us...so, there's no "prove it". Because, the minute we ask for proof...it stops becoming faith. It becomes this intellectual proposition, this evidential hearing. That doesn't mean we don't doubt. But, we cannot expect love, devotion, being...to be illustrated in the same manner as a math problem.

Until next time...
M

Even though we are fortunate...

Today is my Julia's birthday. She turned fourteen. Actually, she wasn't born until around 9:30 P.M. But, let's just say it's an all day celebration of a life I wouldn't know what to do without. She is smart, talented, funny, beautiful, a dancer, a lover of pop-culture...and man does she have a mouth and wit about her. She is a perfect blend of her father and I. I love her (and her brother...but, today is her birthday) more than I could have possibly imagined.

None the less...this year, the Divine Miss J's birthday has been "infected" by multiple trips to the doctor's office, urgent care, er's, antibiotics, cultures, needles, scalpels, anesthesia, fevers, chills, pain, bruises and shots. This child has had a rough week. She has handled it with grace and much humor.

The real issue that I am struggling with is the cost. How do people do this without fantastic health insurance? Look, I love you my right-wing friends and I am queen of the #"pullyourselfupbythebootstrapsclub". But, come on!!! REALLY??? I have one of the best insurance policies in the country. And, this little spider bite has cost our family over $450.00. How is that even possible? Since you asked...$120.00 in various steroids and antibiotic treatments, $150.00 ER co-pay, $120.00 in office visit co-pays and $60.00 in uncovered costs. That was my savings. I get that I should have more saved up. But, I don't.

So what do we do? How does a single-mom, dad, family struggling to survive get through emergencies like this? Because, Julia would have ended up in the hospital (for who knows how long) if I hadn't taken her in on Sunday. She had a 101 degree fever that later climbed to 103 degrees. She could have potentially died without treatment. As a parent, I never want to choose between feeding them and caring for their medical needs. But, without coverage...I wonder if I would have been so quick to take her. Judge me if you will. Remember that boy in D.C. that basically died from not having a root-canal? The infection got into his blood stream and dental work would have saved his life.

The doctor asked me yesterday if we had been out of the country (the bite is really rare). I looked perplexed and he asked, "You know, like the Congo?". I laughed and told him "obviously not." But, sometimes I feel like we live in a backwards country. Like, we have the best of everything here. But, it's like Moses who saw the "Promised Land", yet he could never fully experience it. Is that what being poor is in this country? Is that what God wants for any of us? Some sort of divine "nanana boo boo"? I think not.

I don't have the answers. However, I do think that this is one of the most important conversations we as ministers, healthcare providers, and citizens need to have. Because the resources of this country don't belong to any one individual, race, class, or political party. I'm so grateful for the medical care Julia received and our access to it. I hope that during the coming months and not too distant future we can all partake in the "Promise Land" this country offers.