This is the first post in my new blog. Heya! Truly, I am not sure that anyone is going to read it. Personally, I don't care. Ok, so it starts already? The bitchiness. No, not really. It's more of a...this is my therapy page. I have used facebook as more of a therapeutic form of communication. And, I'm not gonna lie. It's been rather cathartic. It's been the most rewarding when people send me messages saying how inspiring my posts have been.
Over the past few years I have adopted the phrase,"I'm not everyone's cup of tea." I think that about sums it up. Not everyone likes me. Finally, for the first time ever...I am ok with that. I kind of tended to "buy" friends in highschool. A couple people noticed it. They'd say,"Wow she is so mean to you. And, there you go sharing your gum (insert shoes, dinner, clothes, life) with her." I would buy extravagant gifts for birthday parties of people I barely knew.
Still into adulthood, I collected friends. I have people in my life that will rarely assist me in a time of need. I had a major emergency and was detained for 24 hours and people who lived mere miles from me were too busy to go let me dog out. Yes, that was a couple of years ago. I have let it go, oddly enough. But, right now it serves as an example. And, for those of you who know what situation this was...it was humiliating to ask for help, much less be rejected.
I was recently offered a job. It was strange because I didn't think the chef liked me at all. Let's just clarify, dislike is a kind word. He was confrontational (if confrontational was on steroids) even at the interview. And, aren't employers nicest when they are interviewing? So, I didn't think they were going to offer me the position. It was a management job. But, that afternoon...pause...I got the offer. They wanted me to start the next day. Really? I can't say that I ignored my gut, because I worked two other jobs and just went to part-time, on call.
I forged ahead. It was a restaurant that they wanted to open in a week. My partner in crime (the other manager) and I worked 16 hour days. We wrote training manuals, interviewed, made phone calls, and trained staff. We did this in a matter of days. Without fail, every single day that I showed up to this place that I was pouring everything into...the chef would tell me how stupid I was, he would argue about service (it's left to right people!!!!), why wasn't this done...He would criticize me in front of the staff. It became kind of a joke. And, I truly tried to roll with it.
Last week (after working on yet another batch of operational documents) my position was terminated. I didn't cry. I mean what's that Maya Angelou quote? Oh yeah! "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." I loved this job. It was super fulfilling and exhausting. I loved the staff, the owners wife, the food, our guests. The owner/chef wasn't only rude and abusive to me. But, also my staff. I felt that leaving was going to be hard for them too. Where was their buffer between the abuse now?
Ok, so the moment I was thinking that last question in my car on the way home...I pulled over. I was like wtf? Seriously. I went back into another...ANOTHER...abusive situation. And, my servers were like children that I was trying to protect. Thank GOD that I wasn't "his" cup of tea in this situation. Because, had I stayed who knows what the outcome would have been.
Anyway, I needed a reminder of what I will and will not tolerate in my life. And, though I am not pursuing romantic relationships, my professional relationships carry with them consequences as well. I'm so grateful that I was rejected in this situation. I will be back working the other two jobs this week. I am still working on the nursing prerequisites. And, I had a lovely weekend with people I love and care about.
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