It's a marathon

I believe in honestly, to it's fullest. I believe good or bad we can get through things with honestly. Let me tell you though...I have gotten myself in quite the pickle being honest. And, I have learned that telling the truth doesn't always mean that I have a right to insert myself into other's situations. When asked, I am more than willing to give my opinion. And, I promise it's filtered inasmuch as I am capable of filtering it. I realize I hurt people's feelings sometimes. It's rarely (I won't say never) intentional.

But, I think that the real issue is what we are capable of. If I tell you that I can't or don't have it in me to deal with something. Why is it necessary to keep pushing? I am just learning to say no to things and people. It is perhaps, the most difficult thing I have ever done. I am letting go of people who intentionally and unintentionally, literally or figuratively, suck the life out of me.

There are those people in life who are only takers. They rarely give back. Maybe they are capable and choose not to. Maybe they give with others, just not with me. Well, back to that "cup of tea" post...if that's the case, the relationship isn't a good fit for either of us.

Take this if nothing else...take this quote from Dr. Phil (I know...but, it makes sense), "You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot."

Ok, so I am partly responsible for allowing abuse and mistreatment. I buy that. So, I say to you..."Hey, please don't do that. I'm full right now, please don't overfill. I don't have time today, maybe next week...etc." My friend, partner, lover, child chose not to listen. At this point the boundary is my responsibility to enforce. Sure, maybe it was a mistake or they didn't get it. But, after the 3rd or 100th time...the consequence is termination of the relationship. It's unfortunate that I have had to do this with family. I obviously cannot do this with my children...we are stuck with each other. And, I wouldn't have it any other way. But, for those of us who choose to be in each other's lives...I think we owe it to ourselves to walk away from those toxic relationships that suck the life out of us.

I believe in second chances. S#$%, I believe in 50th chances. God knows I have been given so many "resets" in my life. The question is...when do you stop and choose yourself over the noise? I wish I knew. I wish that I had some sort of enlightened capacity to know...Ok, well this person is this way and never going to change. But, I don't there is always hope for me. That's not a good gauge though. Capacity for change? Sure, we all have it. What we are capable of is HUGE. Does anyone ever really do what they are capable of? And, shouldn't that line of abuse of power, time, sex, physical, etc. never be crossed anyway.

I don't know. The more I read, write, learn, listen to others...the more I realize that I still have a lot to learn. I am hopelessly flawed. Really, so is everyone else. It's just when those jagged bits (the scars, the flaws, the scabs) rub on each other and hurt the one's we love the most. Maybe that's when we have the answer. I do know that life isn't some sprint...it's a marathon. And, when you think you can't make it any further...there's a rest area, or a castle ahead. And, that each leg of the race is different and temporary. Some parts you feel as though you could run forever. Some parts of the race feel like a war with your mind and your body. But, nothing feels like the top of a tough hill, the wind in your face, the blisters on your heels, or crossing the finish line. So, lace up your running shoes...