"The Wind of God"

Totally stole this title. We visited a church a couple of weeks ago. And, though I loved the sermon and took notes on the sermon...I had this nagging other conversation going on in my head. Try as I might, I was either going crazy or praying/conversing with God. Keep in mind, the two ideas are not mutually exclusive. However, I choose door number one.

In life, I think I'm an extrovert. I come from sales and the restaurant business. I'm pretty outgoing...until I am not. I love talking to people. I make friends easily. I genuinely love people. On the flip side, I require loads of space, quiet moments, and alone time. I find many conversations exhausting. Deep listening is an exhausting task if done right. You inevitably have more questions than answers and certainly, rarely a solution. So, the conversation always continues. It is fluid and one with a brain like mine rarely steps off the carousel and is constantly thinking about OPP's...and that somehow I can help. Over the past two years, I have learned many things...I am not an extrovert. I am increasingly more drawn to introversion. At best, I am an omnivert and allow the situation to determine my mode of being. That too is exhausting by the way.

Anyway, I digress...I have a few observations and a bunch of questions from church the other day. I don't think they are unique to me. However, in greater world/justice discussions...my hope is that they are in fact at least a bit relevant.

In a community, family, choir, God's people, should there need to be a competition for who can yell, sing, recite (specifically a unified reading, prayer, or response that all are meant to sound as the voice), chant...etc.??? Should one voice rise above the "Unified" voice? Does a quieter prayer=a less effective prayer? Does a louder, more visibly exercised prayer=better chance of results, or that the individual is somehow a better prayer???

If I want to be loud...like so loud that the person next to me can't hear their own voice...is that not problematic? Do I have an obligation to not only hear my neighbor, but to at the least allow my neighbor to hear him/herself? Is it possible, that the loudness of one individual voice can diminish not only other individual voices, but also the collective voice of a group and their mission??? Isn't the ability to hear (and truly see) one another impacted by the competitions to be seen and heard?

At what point is it necessary to quiet our own voices to hear the voices of others, and in fact YOUR voice in and through them? When we say "Thanks be to God" is it not of value to hear those voices of our brothers and sisters also being thankful? When worship becomes a handful of voices...we diminish the call of others to be there are to be heard as well.

I constantly discuss church as a choir...all voices rubbing, singing, creating this deep rich sound that we would not hear if all were not heard. I am always troubled when the service is much like a bunch of soloists showing us how loud they can say, sing, be...It seems to be one is more about God's people as a whole and the other is about God's people in parts as individuals. Both are necessary. I just want to be able to feel the breath of God when the wind is just a breeze. I want to hear the crack in my neighbors voice because this song made her think of her grandson in Iraq. I want to hear a baby squeal with your joy. And, sometimes...I feel that even I am too loud to hear your whispers. But, I promise to do better.

Peace,
M...

P.S. Next blog will refer to the Easter foot-washing service that our youth will be performing with Artists Helping the Homeless. Contact me if you have any interest in donating new socks, volunteering, or making lunch for the volunteers. Should be a beautiful and moving afternoon.