Father's Day

Thank God for this church. 

I mean, seriously. For those that remember my Mother's Day blog...this holiday (Father's Day) remains tied for most disliked. It does help that there is no person/individual to direct my emotion and complete lack of understanding toward. So, the disdain is a bit of a fog versus a clear and direct storm.

Yesterday was Father's Day. It culminated after Project Premier. Sound familiar to my Mother's Day weekend? Yeah. There must be some sort of lesson and I promise...I'm looking for it. But, here we are again. My youngest was already traveling with her father to places of adventure for the summer. I wake up prepping for this longing moment. If you want to support me next year...just refrain from putting a picture of you and your fantastic father on Facebook. I'm kidding. Mostly, I'm happy for you. But, part of me is pissed. How can I continue to long for something that I clearly don't understand. But, I do. I get it. Someone showed me a picture of a pastor-friend with his redheaded cherub girls in matching dresses and...I sighed. It was a sigh of both knowing and not knowing. When you posted a picture of your dad hugging you at graduation, I had the same emotion.

Back to my original statement...at church and actually, now that I think about it...all this week,  I've been reassured that it's ok. It's ok that I don't have that. I'm ok and significant and chosen. (You are too. Keep in mind, these aren't mutually exclusive statements...we are all special, significant, and chosen)  The Rev. Dr. Raphael Warnock spoke at the More2 banquet Thursday. He spoke of the slave girl in Acts. And, eventually she knows "who she is and whose she is". Amen and Amen. Don't some of us struggle our whole life with that? Parents who don't want us, partners who don't see us, people who want nothing to do with us...but, don't want us to be who we are meant to be? And, at church yesterday the Rev. Dr. Hill preached a sermon on the movie "Up". That was fantastic. The lesson of love and understanding. The correlative scripture from Romans 14:7-8 in part "whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's" helped to assure my heart that what I am missing is less important than who's in my corner.

Moreover, the entire service had this thread...of welcome, love and forgiveness. From prayers to special music, we were affirmed in our love by God and from God. Finally, it culminated with the closing hymn of "Precious Lord Take My Hand". Yes please. Because it was heavy and I needed a hand to hold. I've been told that I don't show the sensitive side of myself...I would assert that I do. I am vulnerable in this space.

So, enjoy your fathers and children. I am glad that you have them and they have you. I'm going to enjoy what I do have and still continue to grieve the loss of something I don't truly understand.

Thank you once again for sharing this space and my journey with me.